I was sitting around the house the other day watching a television program where two boys got into a fight and afterward they became friends. Later on in the story they had grown up and their children got into a fight. But this time some good-for-nuthin, should-mind-your-damn-business, go-back-to-your-music-lessons, asshat called the cops. This time, the boys got in trouble, the fathers had to straighten things out, the cops started scrutinizing everything these boys did as they grew older, and it became a general cluster frak, thanks to people who should leave their curtains closed, or move the frak outta town, because nobody likes them anyway.

Which got me to thinking; I have a neighbor like that where I live; and I have a couple of neighbors like that out at Caiman Ranch; and with my luck, I’ll have a neighbor or two like that where we just bought another 10 acre ranch down in SW Texas.

And the other thing I was thinking was that I remember how different it was when I was growing up. How people didn’t call the cops when a couple of kids were in a fight.

Everyone stood around and watched and made sure it didn’t get dirty and when the fighting was done, we became friends. And I know this because a few of those fights, I was in, and I became friends with a few of those guys. One of the closest, I think, was after a fight with Duck. We scraped a bit and got scraped up a bit, but later that week we were back at the Penny, shooting pool and making fun of some transient bar customers.

There were also some exceptions to that rule, like for some reason these two brothers, Pat and Dan, just don’t want anything to do with me or my brother, even today, but, c’est la vie. And then there was the Bird Brigade; boys like Sandor and his minions, who would never fight if they were alone or if there were more than one of us, but were very brave when there was a group of them and only one of us.

But today, even if you live in a cul-de-sac, if you park your car in front of your house facing the (lack of a) flow of traffic, that asshat is sure to call the cops. If you park your trailer on the street overnight because you’re gonna fill it with trash and bring it to the landfill in the morning, that asshat will call the cops.

Back in the day, you would egg their car on Halloween and toilet paper their house. But today, some other asshat with a phone will video tape it and then the asshat will call the cops.

I guess, the bottom line today is that I follow a set of spiritual principles that prevent me from toilet papering the neighbor’s house or throwing eggs at their car … most of the time. But they always continue to help me improve as a person and have kept me out of jail for quite some time!

I love this Program!

I was thinking that it’s been a little while since I’ve written, and there really hasn’t been much “recovery” going on with me lately, so I wasn’t really sure that I had anything to write about at all. Then a funny thing happened: my wife wished me a “Happy 27 Years Clean, Bam!” And then it hit me. Everything that’s gone on since I last wrote really is all about recovery.

Lemme ‘splain: When I was using, like everyone else I know, I used any excuse to get loaded; it was raining, it was sunny, I failed at something, I aced something. Hell, I used if you failed or aced something!

So, this is how my last few months have gone:

We went to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. Actually, we added the visit to the relatives to explain the other thing that we were doing. Y’see, we planned a trip around a UNC football game in Blacksburg, Virginia, followed 5 days later by a UNC basketball game at the Dean Dome. Then we added a visit to my cousin, my sister-in-law and an aunt, in various places around North Carolina.

Then we headed to New York for Thanksgiving with my wife’s mother-in-law. And on the way home we stopped at the Crayola Factory in Pennsylvania and the Safari Park in Virginia for my daughter (and her mother!).

Then, what should have been a quiet, relaxing ride back to Austin, was anything but. We made it to Alabama just in time for the traffic heading home from the Alabama-Auburn football game; and it was dark and rainy. Then in the stop and go of I-20 traffic we get rear ended by a kid in a big pick-up truck.

Thankfully, he told me and the investigating officer the two things you probably should not be telling the other party and the investigating officer: “I’m so sorry. I know it’s my fault. I had just told my mom I was 20 miles further down the road and was just trying to hurry up and get there because I was with my girlfriend, who my mother doesn’t like.”

Everyone was relatively all right, for being in an accident; and we drove home, only to be told by our insurance that the truck is totaled and we can’t drive it anymore because it can’t be insured. Then fighting to get a check from the insurance company, so that we could make a down payment on a new truck; and making appointments to see doctors and chiropractors and lawyers. Oh, my.

After a few weeks of hassle, we decided to go to Shreveport for the UNC Bowl game, to relax a little. We end up spending enough time and money on the tables that we got our room and food “comped” for the whole weekend.

And once we get home, we get a call from the Sheriff’s office that our neighbors are once again complaining that we aren’t feeding our horses. Don’t you just wish people who have no idea what they’re talking about would just shut the hell up and drop dead!

In case you’re worried, there’s nothing wrong with the horses – in fact, the vet was out this week and gave them a new Coggins, updated their vaccinations and deworming meds, and gave them a clean bill of health.

And then it’s New Years Eve and New Years Day and I’m another year “clean.”
So, as I look back on all of the things that have happened, all at the same time, I can’t help but think that any one of those little things, all by themselves, would have been enough to get loaded over in years past. Yet, here I am, having lived through them all, in just 2 short months, and I’m celebrating another year clean. Not for nothin’, but that really is recovery.

I love this program.

Now that we are living outside Austin, any trip we take for a UNC game becomes a road trip. And every year we try to get at least one basketball game and one football game in, as part of our vacation/road trip. This year was no different than any since I’ve been clean – but, goodness gracious, how they’ve changed since the days before NA!

It all started simply enough. We were invited to go to New York, to spend Thanksgiving with my wife’s in-laws. We looked at the driving directions and then at the UNC football and basketball schedules and the following is all about what happened next.

On 13 November 2011, at 9pm central time, we set out from Texas; my wife, Terri; me; and our almost two-year-old toddler, Bella. Because she’s only just turning two, we drove each day until Bella was through, not when we were. So, every two hours or so, we stopped for gas, to stretch our legs, to change the baby, or to grab a snack or a meal before heading back on our way. No “DTs”; no jonesin’. No rippin’, runnin’, or copping.

Our first planned stop was in Birmingham, on 14 November, at 6pm, local, where we met up with my brother, Tim, who always comes with me to the game. We ate there and spent the night, and continued the next morning at 4am.

On 15 November, at about 3pm local, we stopped at our Cousin Lesley’s house in Ashville, North Carolina and had dinner with Lesley, Joe and Britt. We were off again by 7pm.

On 16 November, at about 11:30pm, local time, we arrived in Christiansburg, Virginia. The next day, 17 November, we went to Virginia Tech’s campus, in Blacksburg, Virginia. We tailgated with the only other UNC fans we could find in the snow, and then went into the Inn, on campus, for a Ram’s Club buffet. Then, in 20 degree temperatures and only an hour or so after the first snow, we took our seats. The next morning, 18 November, we set out for Chapel Hill.

We arrived at the Courtyard in Chapel Hill on 18 November at about 4pm local time. We visited a sister in Creedmoor and got back to the hotel at about 10pm, for the night.

On 19 November we visited an aunt in Holly Springs and had a nice relaxing day. The following day, 20 November, we hit Franklin Street, a few must-see sights in Chapel Hill and then went down to the Dean Dome to see the Tar Heels tip-off against the MVSU.

The following morning, 21 November, we checked out of the hotel and headed to New York. We arrived in New York 2 days later. We had Thanksgiving Day dinner with the ‘rents; and left to go home on the 25th.

On the way home, we took the fastest route projected by our GPS, instead of the picturesque view we took on the way up. On the way home, there were no mountains, no colored leaves filling the trees, no country roads; just straight highway and 70-75 mile an hour speed limits. And no fear of police intervention!

In Pennsylvania, we saw a sign for the Crayola Factory, and had to stop. Then in Virginia we saw a sign for Safari Park and had to stop. Then we drove and stopped for another two days, until in Alabama we were rear ended, while driving in traffic, in the rain

And yet again, there was no fear of police action, since we were hit from behind; and not only were we not loaded, but we weren’t even considering using. Not before, not during, and not afterward!

Then one more day’s worth of driving and we were back at home, sleeping in our own bed, a little bit stiff, a little bit sore, but clean, happy and relatively healthy.

I love this program!

We’re getting ready to go on a two week vacation. We haven’t gone on a vacation in a while. And 2 weeks? Never heard of such a thing! Terri’s boss relies on her. I sometimes joke that her boss is Sigourney Weaver and she’s Melanie Griffith, from “Working Girl”. So for Terri to disappear for a few days, let alone 2 weeks, well, you get the picture.

And one of the things that I’m doing to prepare for the trip is to get the truck in good condition; clean it, make sure the oil is up to snuff, check the fluids and tires, get it tuned up, and do every other normal interaction that takes place between a car and a car-guy.

On a side note: That’s something that my kids just don’t understand. And never will. It seems that with the advent of computers and cell phones and all the other tech-stuff, there are no more “car-guys” any more. And that’s a shame.

Anyway, getting back. Once the truck has been sufficiently groped and prodded, I plan to sit down and write out a temporary itinerary. I know there are certain times and instances we need to be at specific places; like on 17 November we need to be in Blacksburg, Virginia, because we have tickets for the UNC vs Virginia Tech football game; and on 20 November we need to be in Chapel Hill, because we have tickets to the UNC Basketball game at the Dean Dome; and we need to be in New York by Thanksgiving – no, there’s no UNC game in NY that day – well, not that I know of, anyway.

And because there are friends and family along the way, I would like to try and fit at least a few of them into our schedule so we can see as many as possible, not knowing when we will be out that way again.

And that’s where things got funny. I sat back, while looking at Google Maps, and thought about they way things were back then. You know what I mean by “back then.” I was thinking about how I used to think about what was going to happen and how I would write a “script” for all of it.

Oh, c’mon: I would come home and she would be mad; and she would say this and I would say this; and she would say this and I would say this; and she would say this or this – and I would answer this.  Then she would do this and I would say this; and she would say this or this, and I would say this.  Then she would say this, I would say this, and it would be over.

So I’d come home and she would be mad; but damn it, the bitch forgot her lines!

Not today, thank you!

I love this program!

Today I heard a term that I never would have guessed was about me. At least not these days. I’ve been married for about 80 years, (I count by feeling, not anni) we have a 2 year old daughter, we’re both Jewish and we attend services together most Friday nights.

We like a great many of the same programs, we’re both into Sci-Fi and terrible zombie movies; we’re both white and we had our daughter the old fashioned way (she wasn’t IVF or adopted or kidnapped). So when I was asked to join a group on ITR involving mixed relationships, I thought they had the wrong person.

So I clicked on the Group, “Mixed Relationships” and I read the membership statement: “This group is designed as support to those in recovery who are in a relationship with those who are not.” My wife is not “one of us”, which makes me “in a mixed relationship.” Isn’t that a blast? I’m so trendy.

I’ve been clean, BTGOG, for over 26 years. None of my 4 kids have ever seen me high, loaded or intoxicated. The fact that my wife has a sip of a margarita about once every 2 months at a restaurant does not even phase me. She doesn’t drink to get loaded; she doesn’t drink to lose her inhibitions; she doesn’t drink because it’s the only way she knows to have fun.  No, she orders a margarita when we’re out at a restaurant that brags about their margaritas, and ends up taking one or two sips and letting it sit on the table for the rest of the meal, and leaves it behind when we leave.

In fact, on New Years Eve, she doesn’t even drink champagne. She joins me in having a glass of sparkling apple juice or grape juice to bring in the new year. So, what kind of ESH could I possibly have for that group, or anyone else for that matter? And am I really in a mixed relationship?

Well, let me start by saying that I have never been able to put a drink down on the table and let it sit there all night. And who could stop at one? And how can you let the ice melt before finishing the drink? And if you’re not going to finish that, mind if I take a sip? …or finish it for you?

I can only imagine that it’s because I have time in this program; combined with a relationship with a Sponsor, working the steps, regular meetings, contact with others in the Program, service work and a sound foundation, that made that even remotely possible. So, as with everything else that prepared us for the journey of our recovery, what you learn in the first 30 days is what you need to use for the next infinite number of years. And I am living proof, whether or not this is really a “Mixed Relationship,” that it works if you work it.

I love this program!

I’m not quite sure why I even remember things like this, let alone want to make them the topic of a blog posting, but, there you have it, and here it is. Y’see, it’s about my first wife. “First wife?” you might say. “So what. Lots of us ITR have had multiple marriages.” But for me, number 1 is 4 wives ago and barely lasted a spec in the sands of time.

I met my first wife around the same time I met dope. Soon after, I introduced them to each other, and the three of us had a love triangle. I think if we could have married the drug, we would have, but I’m sure it was present at our wedding.

We got married, in my opinion, because we were doing drugs and having sex, and both of us were were both young and dumb. And marriage, so I thought, seemed like the next logical step in our relationship.

Barely a year or a year and a half later, we got divorced over jealousy. I thought she liked the third party in our love triangle more than she liked me, and she felt the same way about me. So, that was that. One night, after a long party, one of us wanted to keep going and the other didn’t, so we yelled at each other, fought with each other, and when she started hitting me I picked her up and put her out, like a cat, and locked the door behind her. At the time she was also doing my “boss”, so it all worked out for the best.

Then one day, about 8 or 9 steps later, I stumbled upon her name and phone number and gave her a call. Yes, we all know that RT told me *not* to contact the ex-wives and girlfriends; but if we don’t, how do we ever find out how correct our Sponsors are?

“One” said that she would meet me, but it had to be in a public place.  After coffee, we went back to her apartment. There she told me that she was still afraid of me.  With a question and answer period going both ways for about an hour, the meeting seemed appropriate to adjourn.  I left thinking that she was still not a very happy person, although I had moved on, because I got clean.

Other things that came to mind were that I hoped she would get happy, get clean and stop being afraid of me.  And lastly, that my Sponsor was prolly correct; I don’t think “One” got anything out of the visit, except high afterwards, and not by or from me.

Like I said, I’m not sure why I remembered this incident, but I do think that everything happens for a reason, even if I don’t know what that reason may be.

I love this program!

Defects of Character?  Not Me, You Must Be Mistaken

If you’re just joining us, let me give you a quick recap…..no, not really.  But if you’re wondering why it looks like I’m skipping around, (and that even goes for the folks that have been following along), consider this:  I’ve been clean for a few 24’s in a row now; and I’ve been through the steps a few times, also.  What I’m saying is, maybe I’m not skipping around – maybe I’m back around to this step again; or maybe I’m just writing out memories of working those steps in the order in which I remember working them.

The point is, that whatever the reason and regardless of what step I’m working or writing about, the steps are in order for a reason and they need to be worked with a Sponsor, and in that order.  And your Sponsor needs to have a Sponsor who works the steps in that order.  And so on.  Don’t think that you can read my blog and then share how you just worked the steps.  I’ve already sponsored that guy. I think he’s using again.

The reason I’m prefacing this blog post with those cautionary words is because this post is about the sixth (6^th) and seventh (7^th) steps.  Together.  And the last step I wrote about wasn’t the fifth (5^th).

You see, when I woke up this morning, I had this overwhelming need to talk about these steps.  Don’t ask me why.  In fact, as I’ve come to believe, most things happen for a reason – and the reason does not have to be clear.  Now – or ever.

So, anyway, it was time for me to move on and my Sponsor gave me an assignment.  He said, “These are exercises in willingness.  That’s all. They are simple, non-threatening; and in themselves, meaningless. Their only benefit will be for you to experience how it feels, and to be willing to change what you do. Practice them each over a period of 4 weeks. Do not tell anyone what you are doing it for. This will prevent trading your efforts for attention & approval. Think of this as a way of SHOWING your GOD – not just telling HIM – that you are willing to become a better person.”

And here are the assignments he gave me:
1- Do something nice for someone – without letting them know it.  This should be a minor act. No direct contact with the person. And do it for 4 weeks.
2- Starting the second week, drive exactly at the speed limit for 4 weeks.
3- Beginning the 3rd week, meditate daily for 20 minutes.
4- At the outset of week four, for 4 weeks, change an item of clothing (i.e. if you always wear a ring on one hand – wear it on the other – or some other habitual dressing pattern).
5- Week 5, choose a person you don’t much care for.  Find something new and positive to compliment that person on. Do it honestly.  And do it for 4 weeks.
6- As week 6 begins, find a new recreational activity.  Or one you haven’t done in a long time. Devote 1-3 hours a week to it for 4 weeks.

Now, me, I made a game out of most of it.

Back in Florida, some of the highways were toll roads.  And back then, I don’t know about now, but there was no Toll Tag or Express Pass or other drive-right-through-and-we’ll-bill-you-later gizmo on your windshield.  We actually had to stop and pay a toll.  So I would try and find some good looking girl driving a car, with some guy sitting next to her, and skip right in front of her at the toll booth and pay for me and give an extra quarter for the girl and tell the toll taker that it was for the car behind me.  Then I’d goose the motor just enough to get out of the way and watch in my rear view as the toll taker told the girl that the guy on the motorcycle paid her toll for her – and then try to catch the guy saying, “Where the hell do you know him from?”

Now the speed limit thing was pretty easy.  I never drive over the speed limit. Your Honor. But I knew a guy, who when given this assignment, on the very first day, he got a speeding ticket. How’s that for willingness?

I’ll skip the next couple, also a bit boring and easy, but on week five, I had some more fun. There was this guy who would come to meetings and share the most ridiculous stuff (at least, back then, I thought it was ridiculous) and he never said, “My name is (name removed), I’m an addict,” he’d say, “My name is (name removed) and I’m *definitely* an addict.” And that always got under my skin.  What, he was and some of the rest of us weren’t?  I oughta smack …. Never mind.  But it just so happened, on the very first day of my fifth week on this assignment, he came to the meeting wearing these really kewl sunglasses.  So I would go up to him and say, “Hey, Definitely (name removed), those are really nice sunglasses.”  And he’d say, “Thank you.” And I’d walk away.  And I did this every day for four weeks.  And at the end of the four weeks I always wondered if he ever thought about why I did that or why I stopped.

When it was all said and done, when I went back to my Sponsor, he asked me if I learned anything from the assignment.  I told him that Definitely (name removed) had good taste in sunglasses.  I think he wanted to smack me.

Besides for some of the obvious stuff and some other Sponsor-Sponsee stuff he also told me that no matter how much you might dislike a person, if you look closely enough, you can always find something that you can find to like about the person. And that’s one of the biggest things I take away from that assignment.

Even to this day, some 20-odd years later, even when I deal with people who I feel are useless and wastes of skin and air; people who I would consider disrespectful and not worth an effort, I always try and give my thinking a second chance – a chance to look a little deeper and see if there’s not some quality about the person that I could find worthwhile, even if it is only their taste in sunglasses.

I love this program!

No matter what Program you follow, no matter what Fellowship you belong to, no matter where you went or didn’t go to rehab, if you follow a set of 12 Steps, there is a set of four words, repeated in two different steps, that is always written just a little different. If the steps are in Times New Roman, these four words will be in italics; if the steps are in italics, these four words are in bold print; if the steps are in comic sans these four words are in Times New Roman. If you don’t believe me, go and get your book and check it out. I’ll wait here for you to get back.

Now, I don’t know if that means anything to you, but it does to me. For me it means that for some reason our “forefathers” have decided that these four words have a very special place in the steps. So, for the purpose of working either of these steps, I feel that my Sponsees (and I) need to take a trip down the “As We Understood Him” path for a few minutes.

So, what does “As we understood Him” mean?

I can tell you how I used to understand Him. In my earlier days I had a “gotchagod”. My mother would say, “Young Man, you do that again and God’s gonna getcha!” For my first six years I thought my name was “Young Man You’re In For It When Your Father Gets Home.” And for short, they would call me, “Young Man.”

As I got a little older, I turned to religion. And as a Jewish boy in NY, that meant wearing tzitzit under my shirt to school, a yarmulke on my head and going to shul to doven 2ce a day. For those of you that know better, yes, it’s really three services a day; morning shachrit was one, but afternoon mincha and evening maariv were done one after the other at our shul so we only needed to make 2 trips there!

But after a few years of misunderstanding Him in that capacity, I woke up one Saturday morning, grabbed a handful of cash, jumped on a bus and went down to the local hamburger joint for a double bacon cheeseburger.  And that was that.  For then.

A few years later, while in my using phase, I didn’t believe that God even existed.  My thinking was, ‘How could an omnipotent being allow the kind of things that were happening to happen’, unless He was some sort of cruel, sick, bastard, or He didn’t exist.  And I wasn’t just thinking about those bad things that were happening to me, because those things really should’ve been first on any God’s list!  But I was even concerned about the starving farmers in Kansas, or where ever farmers were starving (and that’s about how much concern I had in between dope runs).

When I got clean, it took quite a while and a few more changes before I happened upon my current understanding of Him.  I had a great deal of help from my Sponsor, I can assure you of that!  But even the changes that I went through, including wondering why the Text didn’t give room for a “Her” or a “Goddess”; or those that don’t believe or aren’t sure; or any of the thousands of other possible ways that we use to make ourselves unique, special and different, just like everyone else.

And I think that’s the point.  The Steps say, “As we understood Him”.  Not “As I understood Him.” Or “As we understand Him.”  It says, “As we understood Him.”  Our collective understanding of an all knowing, all powerful, all loving and all forgiving Power that is greater than any one of us and all of us, but has been here to see us through since long before you or I stopped getting loaded.

And why that’s important to me is because it allows me to have my very own individual belief in a God, Goddess, or nothing; and still have and be a part of a group whose combined understanding can provide me with a Power so much greater than myself that it can – and does – help to keep me coming back – and free from active addiction.

Today, I am once again a practicing Jew; although not as religious as I was in High School.  My understanding is like a mixed bag of nuts.  I have a personal relationship, which I take care of through an organized religion, yet, I also have an understanding of Him which works through the Text, the meetings, the people, ITR, my Sponsees, my Sponsor, and in all sorts of places that I might not have even considered, which enter and exit my life at various times to help me to stay clean.

And if all that wasn’t confusing enough, the actual naming of God, whether it be Jesus, Buddha, Yahweh or any other specific religious credit, although may be appropriate for ITR, blogs, and private step work, has no business in a meeting.  When someone names their divinity in a meeting they are providing one more way for themselves or others who want to find something different about themselves, to use, so they can say that it can’t work for them.  Meetings are about sharing the similarities.  Save your uniqueness for someone who cares.  And that’s just how I see it.

I love this program!

My thoughts on the steps aren’t always the most popular.  Sometimes, I see the step for something completely different than those that are sharing about it in a Step Meeting. For example:

I was thinking about the 9^th step today.  Now that I’m sponsoring people again, I watch them fumble through the steps like I did the first few times, and smile to myself at the innocence of all that guilt.

Nine starts out telling us that we need to make amends wherever possible.  But here’s the part that most people forget.  The rest of the ninth step says, “Except when to do so would injure them or others”.  You know who counts as others?  Everyone.  You and me, included.

If you cheat on your wife, that’s terrible.  But if you tell her, who does it help? Is it important that you be honest?  Is it important that she know the truth? Will it hurt or injure her?

If you commit a crime, and you tell the cops about it, who does it help?  The cops?  The DA?  Can it hurt your chances of ever getting a good job or going back to school?

If you and I commit a crime together and you feel bad about it afterwards, will someone get hurt by you ‘getting it off your chest’?

The second half of the ninth step says that if it hurts them or someone else, than it isn’t really making ‘an amend’!  So don’t do it!

You can tell your sponsor; you can tell your Rabbi; you can tell your mistress; but if it hurts you, the person you’re telling, or the person you did the thing with, than it isn’t following the intent of the step.

When I was using, I had a “job”.  I also had a relative that liked the money I was making and the trips I was taking and begged me for months to let him help me “just one time”.  After months of telling him that I didn’t think it was a good idea, I finally let him help me and I paid him handsomely for his help.

When I had a year and a half clean I was picked up by the DEA for stuff that happened more than three years earlier.  One of the things they told me, was that someone walked into the Miami office of the DEA and said that he felt bad about something he did and wanted to clear their conscience, by doing a “Ninth Step” on it, so he told the Agents all about this trip that he took with his relative.

Now, seriously, folks, what part of ‘not injuring others’ did you not understand?

On the other side of that Lincoln head, I was brought to Delaware to go before the AUSA surrounding those same tales.  The nice thing about my drug use is that I had no memory of most of the things that happened during my last 2 or 3 years using.  My Grand Jury testimony sounds like a 10 year old who, when left alone, broke a lamp, and then was then questioned about the broken lamp.  “I don’t know.” “I don’t remember.”  “I believe you, but I have no memory of it.”  And 3 or 4 hours more of that and my presence was no longer required.

This is why the steps are in order.  This is why you do one before two and two before three and so on.  This is why, after having done a fourth and then working the fifth, sixth and seventh with a sponsor, are we able to bring the correct list of people we had harmed, the correct willingness to make amends and our Sponsor’s direction in order to make these amends, except when to do so would injure those we are planning on making amends to, as well as others!

Don’t think, like I did, “Hey!  I’m clean 2 weeks, now!  I’m ready to make amends!”  Like my Sponsor likes to tell me, “They’re in order for a reason; and the reason is, that when you do them out of order, they don’t work!”

Additionally, people from my 4th Step that my Spons’ told me not to contact, included a number of ex-wives and ex-girlfriends.  He said that contacting them would do them no good.  He told me that opening up old wounds and pouring salt into those wounds, was the opposite of working a 9th Step. You just gotta love my Sponsor – and my Sponsees.

I love this Program!

I’m having a rather tough day today. The water line out at Caiman Ranch blew a gasket and I got the message at 1300 hours. I’m in Texas, in the middle of a record breaking heat wave and drought, with temperatures reaching 100 degrees 30 days in a row, 60 days so far this year with our year-to-date rainfall under 1.7 inches.  And I have to try and work, under these conditions, in the heat of the day.

Then I get home, shower, grab a Gatorade G2, jump online and check out my favorite recovery oriented social networking site, InTheRooms.com, or ‘ITR’ to its in crowd.  I login, and lo and behold, some nitwit, named waiting_for_the_miracle, who must have nothing better to do, has posted a flaming comment on my profile page, which reads:

“26 years in Recovery and in an “Open Relationship”. Sicko! Very bad example of someone sober. Most people in recovery grow beyond that in there first year of recovery! You should be ashamed of yourself!…but then again there is psychotics in recovery too”

I was going to delete it. I was going to forget about it. I was going to just say, “The Hell with it.” And then, my evil twin took over, and this is what I replied in comment boxes on his profile:

“Maybe you just need to wait a little while longer for the miracle, douche bag. I guess it’s a good thing I’m clean and not simply sober. But moreover, when you flame someone, “most people get over that in ‘their’ first year”, you illiterate imbecile.
Additionally, just hearing from you, I know that there “are” psychotics in recovery, too.” High school was rather tough, huh?
Furthermore, “Open” is a decision my wife and I made together. It’s not cheating or dirty. And if you weren’t a limp dick moron, you might find that alternative lifestyles are far more interesting when there aren’t any drugs.”

I did, however, use their and there correctly.  Oh, hell; I’ll shoot my sponsor an email about it later.  I guess that’s what 4th, 5th, 8th and 9th steps are for.  One day, maybe I’ll be cured and not have to go through these types of things.  Not so much, huh?

I love this program.